“Do they think I’m a slut?” and “Do you think I’m a slut?” are two entirely different questions. Answering yes to the first isn’t slut-shaming, I don’t think — it’s pointing out that your circle of friends is slut-shaming.

No, I agree with you. Not to mention that the question was “Do you think *they* think I’m a slut?” (emphasis mine) not “Do *you* think I’m a slut?” which calls for a completely different response. I really don’t understand how answering the first in the affirmative is slut shaming in the slightest.

I kind of agree. If I was fishing for reassurance I would have asked “you don’t think I’m a slut, right?” and friend would have said “of course not!” and we would have carried on in our merry delusion off that stupid pointless exchange.

But the question wasn’t “Do YOU think I’m a slut?” it was “Do you think THOSE 3 DUDES think I’m a slut?”

Not even “do YOU think I’m a slut,” but “do you think that group of guys I’ve slept with 60% of think I’m a slut?” Which is an even stupider question. They’re men! Probably (a) they do think you’re a slut, and (b) who cares what a bunch of your castoffs even think, if they have thoughts at all?

I’m with you. This is exactly how I would respond to a question like this. My friends know not to ask me questions they don’t really want the answers to, though.

yes i suppose you’re right. i guess the friend should have said “probably, but...” and then added something about how that falls onto the douchey guys and doesn’t make her a bad person.

I thought that too. Seems like the author could have been more tactful with her clearly very sensitive friend, but she shouldn’t have asked that blunt question if she didn’t want an honest answer. It didn’t sound like the author was slut-shaming her either, just acknowledging that hey, maybe those guy do think that…

Yeah, that’s a mistake people make, thinking “be honest” means “throw every last grievance you have in my face.” I’ve been on the receiving end of this a couple of times in my life, and I think it does more harm than good. Even if some of the issue are valid, no one likes being dumped on like that, and it’s hard to…

The woman asked if her friend thought the GUYS thought she was a slut. The friend answered honestly: “probably.” As in, those guys probably thought she was slutty—that doesn’t make it the friend’s opinion. And it doesn’t make it slut shaming, thought the friend likely should have said something like “Since guys have a…

i think it depends on what the women in the scenario think about the word slut. some people don’t mind the term or think it’s a shameful thing, other people would be really offended. obviously the asking friend falls into the offended category. in my ideal utopia, the answering friend would have said “i think your…

she wasn’t told she was probably a slut - she was told that those guys probably think she’s a slut. kind of an important distinction. sure, she could’ve (should’ve!) employed more tact (advice I think many people could stand to practice), but assessing someone else’s reaction doesn’t make it your reaction, which is…

It was a stupid question to ask in the first place. The answer was dumb as well, because as people have been discussing here you have to gauge the friend before deciding to tell the lie. Fudgsicle eating friend answered stupidly, there’s no doubt. But it was a stupid fucking question to begin with. I’d probably say…

“Are you fucking kidding me?” she said. “Get out of my house.”

sweet baby jesus, people like this are fucking insufferable. get better friends.

Very interested in Marina Rustow’s work. The Caliphate, according to my favorite video game Civilization V, was as powerful as, if not more powerful than, the Roman Empire. The empire stretched well across Asia, into Africa, and even parts of Europe, and flourished with trade and culture. At a time where the Middle…

Gosh, I needed a little faith in humanity with my coffee today.

Can’t wait for the ‘Comfortably Distant Side Hug’ pants and the ‘Handshake-no-wait-hug-oh-god-handshake-now-it’s-too-late-let’s-just-lean-towards-each-other-and-shoulder-hug’ Pants.

When I used to work at a grocery store, the register rang up Land O’Lakes Buttermilk as “LOL BUTT MILK” which is only tangentially related to this but I found it 10000% hilarious.

I know, right? I got into libraries so I could smack books out of people's hands and then stab their eyes out. Perfectly logical.

“SHE POURED POISON IN MY DRINK! I SAW HER DO IT! I CAN TASTE THE POISON!”