My words were spoken from a sort of ‘delusional librarian’ persona I often inhabit, a librarian who careens between wisdom and ignorance (that’s what my library is too) and it didn’t translate. That’s my fault.

Yesterday at the library I had to have a long circular conversation with a patron who is convinced that A) he does not have to bathe and B) our staff is lying about him when we say he is simply too stinky to have in the building until he bathes and changes his clothes. He cannot be convinced that he stinks, because he…

Letter Writer #1, you are a lonely horndog, and you are pouring your sexy energy into some rando asshole at work. Girl, we have all been there. Go find somebody who makes your toes curl and do some of that dating and kissing. This guy is not the one.

Hahaha, going down on women isn’t sex, it is stuff you do just prior to sex because sex is what you do with your boner. It’s funny cuz it’s misogyny!

If there is no garlic then this sauce can go straight to hell and fuck itself on the way there.

Dark yes, but cynical no. There is a deep cynicism behind relishing a campy movie about the same murder that had us holding our loved ones close in prior days. Maybe the difference is my age — I remember the hunt for Cunanan.

I wonder if I am alone in having reached Peak Murder. I can’t go from news cycles documenting murders to tv dramas about those murders anymore. I tried with this trailer, and I just can’t. I really understand now why, during The Great Depression, people only wanted to watch Busby Berkeley musicals.

“He asked if we could go to my dressing room so he could masturbate in front of me.”

You should be ashamed of your terrible opinions. Sussudio is the wooooooorrrrsssst.

I have to create very specific boundaries in my brain around that rebirthing story. When I read it, and that the ‘therapists’ are free as a couple of fucking birds, I found myself tempted to go find them and... do... something.

I know somebody who QT threw against a wall and shoved his tongue down her throat during what she thought was just a friendly flirty bar conversation. So I often wonder about Uma’s experiences with him too, no matter how much he adores her.

I always do unless it means actually chasing someone down and rapping on their windows. In case you want to join me in this, here is my script:

“Excuse me! Sorry to bother you. That is a lovely [suit/jacket/skirt/coat]! Did you know that it will hang even better if you remove this little thread here? You probably…

Oooh, two buttons! Good catch. I am with Jenn3 though, ultimately blaming the front rise of the pants.

Indeed! Check out this picture of Carson (receiving a demo of the Heimlich maneuver). His waistband is high even for 1979 — the top of the band sits above his navel. Note the tie length too — he wears his tie so that the points of the inverted triangle line up perfectly with the top of that waistband. That is his…

Truer words were never written.

This is a weird one — it is correct to button only the top button in a two-button jacket, but I also agree it looks weird when the wearer starts moving his arms around so you see the space between the bottom of his tie and his belt. It has also bothered me when watching Colbert and I think the problem may be that he…

I have told strangers to take those tags off their suits. I cannot hold my tongue. What if they are heading off to a job interview, and the interviewer is someone like me, and it keeps them from getting the job?

All I can say is that reading this gave me flashbacks to the Seventies and Eighties, where ‘irreverent’ and ‘counterculture’ ‘satire’ were so often conflated with bald-faced misogyny. I feel like this is something that has actually gotten better.

Yes. It has occurred to me that it was a real testament to Nick Offerman’s fitness regimen that Ron Swanson wore those hideous poly-blend polo shirts yet you couldn’t see his lumps and bumps. Did he wear man-spanx or do yoga? Or both?

Podophobic — if your office doesn’t have a dress code, then you need to mind your own fucking business. I mean, I have plenty of opinions about how people should dress at work. Most of them are stupid and I keep them to myself. They include:

No bare feet