Andy Kaufman, is that you? Man I love your misdirections. This character is your most inspired yet!

I’m sure having them on helped their market share by 4% or enabled them to sell more ad time for dick pills. Whatever the case may be, it was never for journalistic reasons. 

I always think the “age of consent argument needs to be had” is an interesting hill to die on, but it ceases to surprise me that the guys making that argument look like Stallman 90% of the time. 

I disagree: he absolutely does have to do it. He has to be in the media for any little thing no matter how ridiculous. Whatever gets him attention. Then he’ll crack 4% in no time.

No it was kinda racist.

I honestly didn’t know about him until he started... well... gaining steam sounds too nice, so... buying hashtags on Twitter? Maybe that’s better.

I’m hoping they throw in some Mary Kay products and some good old NutriBoom.

Boom Boom, everyone!

The yang supporters have gone full trumper, but even in their little pocket universe they dwell in, some seem to think this proposal is silly. 

The answer is participle. 

He’s really, honest to whatever you worship, losing it. I honestly haven’t heard Biden or any candidates speak during this whole primary cycle, at least in long form. I’ve heard clips. Even of sanders.

It’s times like this that I miss smoking weed. 

Wait til they find out about wireless communication devices. There’s an AM frequency with a “MAGA” message going to be broadcast to tens of homes any day now. 

As a history teacher, it’s good to have a literal example of when “anyone who doesn’t get in line with the leader is a leftist or bad person” so clear and available.

I’ve been suspecting this for awhile, but you just confirmed it: you’re me!

...or at least a clone of me.

It’s like an oraunge on a tithpick!

Yeah... Harris’ stock has gone down significantly. She would probably be more effective in the senate. 

I’m not totally convinced that Biden will be the nominee. I think he’s vulnerable in the primaries with each day he campaigns. We’ll see how it pans out I guess. 

I think you’re being too kind to historians (e.g., am one.) I imagine that it will be in the VR version of Trivial Pursuit 2077.

This is a much better answer then the one I gave my wife: he had a bad eye thingy. 

He really needs to just stop. It’s seriously bumming me out.