She left a Trail of Tears all the way back to her car.

How long must she tread this trail of tears?

At least she had some teepee to wipe up her tears.

NO they aren't and you spelled 'profit' wrong and...

When you think about it, this is a brilliant marriage preparation tactic.

ESPN's Golden Age was whenever you were 15 years old.

Use more concise ledes. The last 3 words are unnecessary.

"If you smoke marijuana in college, this is what happens."

"If you throw a pitch right down the middle to Joe Carter, this is what happens"

Actually, the whole Patriots roster is turning into that Simpsons episode;

Aaron Hernandez is turning into Steve Sax from the "Homer at the Bat" episode of "The Simpsons" - except he actually did the crimes.

Nice effort by ESPN, but they got completely one-upped by NBC Sports today.

If Daniel Snyder wanted someone who could withstand the scrutiny of playing both a Chief and an Indian, he should have hired Hank Azaria.

Indian rappers call each other Redskins all the time, so it's all good.

That stinks, I was at a bachelor party in Las Vegas once and this pretty police officer knocked on our door. She said she was going to have to give us a citation for having too much fun. Luckily for us, my friends and I bribed her and gave her 300 dollars to leave quickly, as we were waiting for a stripper to show up…

Are you worried that by picking that title for your book you'll be opening yourself up to vicious criticism? Imagine you say, "Hey guys, maybe we shouldn't juggle flamethrowers," and your friends respond with "Why? Because someone might get hurt? [high fives all around]"

You should've added an honorary number 11: People who think they're parents because they have pets. Fuck those people.