'Pipe Drag's Too Slow; 'Boarders Not Getting High.

The problem is that Russians are misunderstood. Why, Roberto Carlos was offered bananas TWICE by Russian soccer fans who were concerned about his nutrition, and look how he responded. It was a gift, FFS! Ingrate.

This'll deal a devastating blow to Russia's reputiation as a bastion of diversity, tolerance, and civility.

I also don't understand why everyone is hating on this guy. He's winning, and as long as he isn't cutting his opponent's buzzer cords, he's fine.

Greatest nickname ever. "The Pillsbury Throwboy"

Having a QB the caliber of Jared improves not only the River Monsters, but league as a whole.

I read your entire comment in this guy's voice.

Saw this on a friend's Facebook feed:

I don't know why, but for some reason the fact that they both have their eyes closed makes this SOOOOOOOOOOOO creepy!

You are truly doing God's work.

It's kind of fascinating to me that to so many of these commenters, the only thing that could entitle a person to complain about their job is being forced to do it at gunpoint. Literally, that's it.

Jesus. Awful lot of anti-labor numbnuts in the comments here.

I can't fathom she will ever be of an age where I won't be desperately in love with her.

The video was taken down out of shame. Here's a mirror:

A snow day in fucking college?

I feel like I fulfill a good portion of my religious duties, but last night my friend and I tried to make a list of all of our sexual partners. Mine is well over 30, and I don't think the God that I believe in gives a shit.

Informed consent.

I'm not the only one who doesn't like it, right?

"To get rich is glorious." -Deng Xiaoping- the leader who opened up China.