Pretty much any Ayn Rand should be consumed, digested, and discarded before your late teens/early 20s. If you make it past college age and are still clinging to it, might be time to consider growing up.

Thanks for doing this Dan.

I feel scared and sad like I need to reproduce immediately to counteract the children being raised by stark raving lunatics.

Everybody puts on weight around the holidays.

I don't think you know what hearsay is.

I sincerely hope the end result of this article being published is Priefer being unemployable as an NFL coach.

Excellent fucking article. Great job.

Are you Gregg Easterbrook?

Half, Eddie! HALF!!

FUCK YES. I swear to sweet baby Jesu, when I hear simps taking Skip's name in vain…..Goddamn….my shirt's off. I didn't want to do this. WHO WANTS TO FUCK WITH HOLLYWOOD COURT?

Yes! And I always had a soft spot the Brave's middle infield with Blauser and Lemke. And, seriously, Rafael Belliard was one of my favorite players for some reason. That was a great era to be a Braves fan.

In my defense:

No, I believe this is how it's done:

This is why Christians can eat bacon, shrimp, lobster, pussy and dick.

Don't forget pussy and dick.

Sorry, kid, but you'll have to wait about four to six years to get your wish.

America already has a decent reserve of natural resources in its own boundaries...

I'm tickled you think the FA will enforce the rules against Wilshere as they did against Suarez. What part of "White Englishman" applies to Suarez?