The name’s Francis Soyer, but everybody calls me Psycho. Any of you guys call me Francis, and I’ll kill you. [Ooooooh!] You just made the list, buddy. And I don’t like nobody touching my stuff. So just keep your meat-hooks off. If I catch any of you guys in my stuff, I’ll kill you. Also, I don’t like nobody touching…

That sounds like the future. Fucking Trek-style food reconstitution. “Computer! McRib, hot, extra onions, and Tea, Earl Grey, hot.”

No Superchunk stories, either.

I’m sure they do if you’re a virulent strain of drug-resistant STD.

How did that place ever close? Any time I missed my commuter train (about once a week), I went in and it was packed! It was also pretty damn cool on the inside.

I think that basic nutrition/cooking should be a part of high school. Foods and keyboarding were the unsung heroes of my high school curriculum.

My family had no money and never went out when I was a kid, either, so I totally identify with this. Not just Olive Garden, but other chains, like Outback and other such places — I feel proud of myself when I can take my family out to places like that occasionally. I save the good places for just my wife and I on our…

I think — as an former OG employee — that ALL OG cards are good for all Darden restaurants. At least, they were in 2003.

Or they stand in front of the system map, counting the stops until their transfer to the red line for the fucking zoo (here in DC, anyway).

Double wide strollers in a city are the fucking worst. If you have to double up, make it single-wide and put your spawn one in front of the other, like we did.

Dude: MISANDRY! ARGLE BARGLE

That last paragraph... I was drinking soda, damn you!

I just remember a 12 year old Phillies fan and his dad being booted from our section during a day game in 2010 or 2011 because of the foul language they were using. It wasn't even a Phillies game — it was interleague against the Mariners or something.

I could never find them. I always ended up laying out the little mat on the counters and doing it there. Fuck the restaurant if they couldn't provide a changing table.

We are an organization filled with fun-police humble-braggers.

I still hate Phillies "fans" in Nats park more than any other.

I remember going through the same thing in the late '90s, watching the obnoxious Pens fans — all wearing Jagr jerseys — get quieter and quieter until the third period. By the time Peter Bondra completed his hat trick, they'd mostly left my row. It was awesome.

I haven't, but I haven't gone back to DA2 in a while. I think I might — I just picked up DA:O again, and I'm being all roguish and stuff as a human noble, so I'll move on soon.

SEXY PARTIES!