When I was in middle school in the 1970s, I had this brilliant history teacher who was an immigrant from Armenia.  He had a phrase that applies here.  Whenever any of the boys were acting like idiots in class, he would proclaim, with his wonderful Armenian accent, replete with rolling ‘r’s, “If you were my son, I…

You don’t think Kanye and Kim are scary?  To me, they’re “US starring in a reboot of ‘The Fall of the Roman Empire’” scary.

Pleasantly surprised it wasn’t a dick pic. 

I used to have some respect for Haley.  Now, she’s nothing more than Smithers, whispering, “They’re chanting ‘Boo-erns’” into Dear Leader’s ear.

Think of the US electorate as a kind of ‘stupid funnel.’  Trump is more a symptom than the disease itself.

Holy cow, do you take everything literally?  Have you ever spoken to humans before?  Have you ever heard of hyperbole or satire?  You just know Dear Leader is itching to send a dick pick to the whole nation.  

Or a tornado 200 miles away.

And had this been three years ago, there would have been Youtube videos of former Marines shooting their cell phones rather than allowing them to receive a message from that Muslim.

You think Dear Leader is going to be able to resist abusing the system that allows him to message every damned cell phone in the country? I’m surprised we all haven’t already gotten a ‘I don’t have a mushroom dick’ message via the system.

Those few oldsters out there: remember how Murphy Brown had a dump truck full of potatoes unloaded at Dan Quayle’s house because he couldn’t properly spell ‘potato?’  Murphy’s coming back to TV this fall.  I wonder if there’s a load of mushrooms on the way to the White House.

Probably the only time Dear Leader uses the metric system, since centimeters give a larger number.

All I can think of is how annoying Hofman must be to deal with in person- he sounds like a character from an episode of “Seinfeld.”

Seriously.  It’s like saying, “Hey, I’m not scabies.”

I’ve been in immigration, first as a clerk, later as an attorney, since the late 1990s.  The reshuffling of the various immigration and border agencies under the fascist-sounding Department of Homeland Security was the beginning of ICE evolving into an American Gestapo.  I saw a huge cultural shift after what I refer…

My wife and I attended a Universalist-Unitarian church for a while in the Midwest.  The main group of congregants were ‘liberal’ in that they did things like put “Black Lives Matter” placards on the grounds of the all-white church.  Most were wealthy, white Baby Boomers who had had their way all their lives.  The old…

I still keep in touch with a former law school professor from 25 years ago.  She’s a dyed-in-the-wool Catholic conservative.  It’s kind of sad to see her intellectual contortions on Facebook as she deals with an ultra-liberal Pope and a political party overrun by fascists and mouth-breathers.

Anyone else here old enough to remember when certain members of the media were trying to get us to call the internet the ‘infobahn?’

Or she could follow in her father’s footsteps, and one of the oldest and most lucrative grifts out there: she could become a preacher.

I’ve got about 20 years as an immigration lawyer. Please be assured, the engine of this monstrous machine is comprised of white people, swaddled in overlapping privileges, but there are plenty of people of color doing everything from acting as prosecutors and judges in immigration courts, deporting 3 year olds who are…

I wonder if somewhere in all of Sessions’ “permanent solution” paperwork is the acceptible ratio of Mexicans to whites, so that things like Mexican restaurants, lawn care companies, and fresh fruit are still available, but without constituting an invasion of brown people who will destroy America.