Thus confirming my suspicion that people who run onto the field and people who say “all lives matter” are equally stupid.

I know this is Deadspin so everything the NFL does is wrong, but in what world is that not taunting?

Yeah, I read that and went “wouldn’t the Danny Ocean method involve a team of criminals working an elaborate plan that involved a ton of deception to get into the vault without anyone knowing?”

That’s what he was going to make with the Bears. He’s now a free agent so they could offer him as little as the veteran minimum for a guy with 10+ years in the league, which is more than the minimum would be for Parkey but still under a million.

I am fully expecting some close wins against bad teams to eke out 5 or 6 wins, secure Pace/Fox’s jobs, and ensure that they draft just outside the top 10. Where they’ll pick a guy who’s pre-injured or a project or both after passing on at least one very solid player at a position of need. The Bears can’t even lose…

I don’t know if it’s the performative aspect of social media or what, but it feels like people freak out way more than they used to when an elderly celebrity passes away. Don’t get me wrong: it is sad whenever someone like Palmer dies. And of course his advanced age is no consolation to the people who knew him and…

Yeah, it’s common knowledge that The Simpsons became really bad sometime after the 10th season, and that its prime ended well before that. To say that everything after the fourth season is not worth watching is absurd.

Agreed. Yes, the very idea of PSLs is total bullshit, but the only people getting screwed by it know full well what they’re getting into (and are reasonably well-off to even be able to afford PSLs and season tickets). Buyer beware.

Yeah, he has been competent against two apparently awful teams. If I was an Eagles fan I’d be cautiously optimistic, but let’s not enshrine him in Canton yet.

Yeah, he had to mean punting from inside the opponent’s 40. Punting from your own 40 is almost always a good idea.

“My kids are always taking my phone charger.” Here’s a solution: tell them that they are under no circumstances allowed to use your charger, and punish the shit out of them when they do. If you actually show them who’s boss, they'll learn.

The Bears are just plain bad, and not even interestingly bad. I still maintain that they could’ve made a playoff run in 2011 if they’d had a Hoyer-level backup when Cutler was hurt (and I also blame them for Tebowmania, since if they beat Denver - which they were one Marion Barber fumble away from despite starting…

At one point he was the 4th most accurate kicker in NFL history, playing at least 9 games a year outside and often in crappy kicking conditions. Granted, his accuracy slipped starting in 2013 or 2014.

I think the McCaskeys are the problem and that the Bears are like the Blackhawks and the Cubs: doomed to mediocrity at best until the team is sold.

I had to go look up who his line was in 2010 to be sure I wasn’t getting my years confused. Other than Roberto Garza and the corpse of Olin Kreutz, that line was hot garbage. Frank Omiyale? JaMarcus Webb? Lance Louis? Come on, man.

I really don’t understand why anyone, anywhere, pays to go to a football game. It’s way better on TV even if the tickets were free.

The Browns traded down for a boatload of picks because they believed there was no one worth taking at #2. Time will tell if they were right about that or not.

Yawn. So you’re telling me that a professional DFS player who probably enters hundreds or thousands of contests a week got lucky and won a big one. Truly, truly shocking.

Yeah. I realize it’s all about hot takes and hyperbole but to hear the post game guys on CBS this is a huge issue for the Patriots. It’s not. They can afford to lose the next two games and it’s not even a certainty that they will. Brady will be back for game 5.

I was born in ‘84, and the gulf between me and people who were born in ‘94 might as well be 50 years.