GRONK: Hahahaha!! Look at that little bill. How cute. Dressed up all funny like that. Waddle waddle little man!!

"... and the names of the ducks are Jack, Pack, Whack, Whack, Whack, and Wh... wait a second.. who let fucking Aaron Hernandez name our ducks?"

Great, more selfies of Gronk with people making duck faces.

Nice work. And I believe I've located his accomplice.

His accomplices are wanted for questioning.

I'll take that reward money now.

Found him. Took two seconds.

That fucking guy. Just because they cast you as Batman, doesn't mean you can do whatever the fuck you want!

Regardless of who the kid's dad is, its good that this story is getting national attention. Child abuse and holy-living-fuck levels of insane domestic violence are more common than we generally realize (or want to think about) so if this link, even if it's tenuous, to an NFL star helps raise some awareness, then…

Maybe the guy had just watched Million Dollar Baby.

It wasn't Peterson's son after all? Whew, that's a relief. I feel so much better knowing that this incredible piece of shit beat up someone else's 2-year-old.

Holy shit, that's awful. And I hate to make this all about my fantasy team, but I'm really pissed off that I didn't start Patterson this week in my Total Piece of Shit pool.

lot of questions here, like what did that baby do to make him so aggravated.

I couldn't get beyond halfway on that Glee clip. I found the whole thing a bit gross. I just imagine them all being told, "Okay guys, so if you could all sit together on set, some of you could hold hands maybe? Great - then Lea's gonna lip-synch, while crying, to a song she recorded before (when she wasn't crying) and…

Shane Morris was a contestant for Grantlands fantasy island competition. He did not win.

Grantland's pretty much the anti-Deadspin now, isn't it?

It's the Peter King model. They both established weekly online columns over 10 years ago and have built a following. That's pretty much it.

I really don't understand how Bill Simmons is so popular. His writing consists of nothing but anecdotes about calls from his father or emails from his buddies, occasional references to The Wire and The Sopranos, and "Wouldn't it be cool if..." NBA trade speculation. Oh, and Boston sports. Always Boston sports.

So...thank you, Simmons?