"Thanks to the support of my tremendous family and friends, I have decided I will not be attending the draft this year."

Seems fitting that Rose shares a space with the Virgin Mary. Both of them can be out of commission for 9 months without ever being touched.

Good thing he's not named Jewish Dicks or he'd be cut.

...quest for easily YouTubeable viral sensations that he can then sell ads against so as to turn a larger personal profit...

Idiotic workout posted on social media? Looks like someone started doing Crossfit!

Hey for once, he's dragging something down besides his team.

Especially confusing during his junior year at Texas.
Mel Kiper Jr. Jr., Jr.

This is not exactly news Tom. Jay's sucked at home all year.

My favorite is the 76ers one:

This girl seems like a pretty unbelievable catch.

ESPN BOTTOM LINE: Wilson 0-4 when targeting God.

Allenby is a world-class golfer. He should be able to get out of a tough lie.

Treadmill: COME ON DOWN!!

Swift's life has been spiralling downwards for awhile now. It looks like it may have finally reached the bottom.

It looks like Whitlock exploded.

It must be such a relief to see something black on the floor in Chicago that isn't Derrick Rose.

Great tactic actually. If history has told us anything about Kobe, it's that first comes the assault, then comes the ring.

Pictured: Yet another Cam Newton turn over.

That before he dated Ali, he dated a girl named Madison Bumgarner ("No relation, I'm sure of it").