It's not cheesePIE, it's cheeseCAKE.

I was raised by pumpkin pie people, and for years I was a pumpkin pie man. I then married into a family of sweet potato pie people. Sweet potato is slightly but inexorably better.

And if you, heathen and idiot that you so clearly are, ever ate a pie made with real Key Limes and condensed milk, you would fall down to your knees and bash your own head in with the nearest blunt object for having been so plainly misinformed.

Mistakes Alberto made in his most recent ranking, ranked:

Well, fine! More pecan pie for me then. YOU ARE NOT WORTHY.

Nice try, John Kerry. AMERICA WANTS COMMENTERS WITH FIRM POSITIONS ON PIE FILLINGS

I see you've omitted blueberry because it's so much better than any pie on this list it wouldn't be a fair contest. You're a sporting man, Burneko. Carry on.

Cherry?! GTFO

Mincemeat - mainly because of its versatility, but also because its deliciousness - is far too low on this list, alas, I am reminded of the subjectivity involved in composing such a list and I commend you for your efforts, you heretic.

I hate that Selig is proud of never having sent a single email in his entire life. What an anachronistic pud.

Isn't Vaseline...clear? That stuff, if it's stuff, isn't clear.

There would have to be a ton of vaseline there for it to appear yellow...in small quantities it is transparent.

I would rather stare at these boxscores for 3 hours than be subjected to 3 hours Joe Buck.

I would keep score using this method. Just one question, why is detroit abbreviated TB?

In the 20 years since the 1994 player strike interrupted Tony Gwynn's run at .400 and derailed the Montreal Expos' inevitable march to what would have been their first and only World Series, baseball hasn't suffered a single canceled game.

The Patriots historically good? Do we just discount stats from more than 12 years ago when considering historical context? They had THREE first place finishes before 1996 out of 36 years and no championships. They finished in fourth or worst more than in first from 1996-2001.

(I'm still waiting for the Star Trek IV technology where you just put a scanner thingy on your forehead and the cancer is magically eradicated).

I was watching football with my son the other day and he said he liked the Lions because he liked blue because Thomas the Tank Engine is blue.

Rae Carruth served in the Harnett Correctional Institution in 2005 with...

Shh... I wanna see where this goes.