"I'll watch sports and drink beer wherever the fuck I want." - everyone

I don't know, I'm pretty high right now, and this is freaking me out.

It's like that old saying, "Rick Mears vs 85 Bears in a Bus driven by Ditka who wins had it on Twitter first".

I would have agreed with you based on the GIF, but after watching the video, the player clearly tried to throw the ball to him and when it didn't make it to him he started to freak out because he thought it was going to get taken from him after the intent was to give it to him.

You need better friends.

Jurickson Profar.

1. Why would whatever mastermind concocted this nefarious scheme even do so in the first place? Who would benefit?

and i thought most arizonians were vehemently anti-beaner.

Nope, Han Solo says fuck your dove.

Considering the guy is apparently famous enough to have one of those "put your face in here and pretend to be his girlfriend then take a picture" attractions at a local restaurant, is it really that surprising he was able to pull so much ass?

We'll never know what would have happened, but it's just a terrible idea to kidnap and sell nice white ladies from America and talk about it online. Because when she goes missing, the FBI's gonna track those emails and rain hell upon whoever sent them. Not to mention whoever picked her up at the airport, whoever…

Huh. I thought the only n-word ESPN vigilantly avoided using was "NHL"

This may be my favorite comment ever.

I had a short stint in east coast minor league wrestling. I went by the name of Shasta Mike and my special move was the Cankle Yank. I met a lot of big names on their way up. I even got to see their dicks.

Proud of you Jennifer. Don't listen to the assholes. This is how progress is made. Two steps forward, then a hesitant shuffle to the side, and then WHAM, three steps backwards through the air.

Anyone else feel like these emails are none of our fucking business?

You and me, both.

Normally, this would come as a complete shock. But for Charlie Villanueva, it didn't even raise an eyebrow.

ok