I set up a burner account just so I could thank you for that comment. Dear lord the stench of smug in that original comment is as powerful as the aftermath of a lentil enema.

Tell me some more about these lentils... Are they fair trade? Did you cater your entire wedding with them? Does the scent of the lentils steaming fill your sterile low carbon footprint living quarters with the delicious scent of smugness?

It's also cute because if another cookbook discussed stocking one's pantry, I'd assume they mostly meant pantry as a concept — whether you have an actual closet that serves as a pantry or one of those standing baking pantries or just some shelves somewhere. But you know Goop is envisioning everyone's walk-in pantry…

I admit I kind of liked her first cookbook but the most hilarious part was the section where she lists all the staples that a Proper Pantry must have in stock at all times. If anything displayed her privilege, it was that. I would have had to spend at least $2k at Whole Foods and other specialty stores to fulfill that…

That was an awesome visual, seriously

That mental image just made my afternoon.

I suspect that sometimes she locks herself in a closet and hate-devours entire sleeves of Ritz crackers. She doesn't even chew. She just unhinges her jaw like a snake, relaxes her throat, and pours them down it whole like they're made of water.

Y'know, if you take a broader view, I think you could consider prostitution a form of polyandry, and god knows that's common throughout the world.

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, people.