"Why are all our major eating holidays scheduled in the wintertime?"

I agree. They probably don't learn anything. But still...no sense in rewarding bad behavior by letting the jackasses have what they want.

You watch yer filthy mouth when yer talking about about Merle Haggard.

So...judging people over certain aspects of the lives is Bad, but judging on other sorts of choices is Good. Got it.

I understand. It's just...I've been in a lot of restaurant kitchens. And most of them, even if their health dept. ratings are high, aren't necessarily all that "clean" during meal service. They can't be.

And they do ask Moms to do this quite frequently.

Just...don't play the game. Srsly. Inner peace through selective apathy.

...and it's doubly subversive - you haven't seen a piece of playground equipment like that on a school playground in 20 years. Can't have anybody getting hurt...

You're donating your time. Just like any other volunteer endeavour. Weird concept, I know.

I could get behind that myself. Our PTO has "restaurant nights" a couple times a year where if you go to a particular restaurant on a given Tuesday between 5:00 and 8:00, 15% of the proceeds go to the school. These events are often a fucking ZOO, which I hate. I often find myself asking Missus Whiplash, "Can't we…

This is of course probably a horseshit rule...virtually EVERY store-bought baked good I can recall reading the label of has a peanut warning on it, so it's really not making a difference.

The true irony would be if some kid got sick from said store-bought treats; goodness knows nobody has ever gotten sick from purchased food...

I...I think I love you.

So you never eat out?

That...sounds like a singularly unpleasant place to raise kids. This "everybody's a suspect" shit needs to come to a screeching halt.

The kid with the eggs was great. She's all like, "Fuck this, I'm making an omelette."

Your statement assumes that children are much more than circus monkeys.

70s harvest-gold Afghan FTW! (Miss my Grandma, too.)

"When a girl and Death love each other very much..."

Is there such a thing as "non-prescription Adderall?" If such a creature exists, I can't imagine it's legal in the US. Amphetamines are Schedule II in the US, meaning they're heavily controlled.