Bets on his MAGAt status? 

Literally the first line in his second paragraph states that he learned it from Roy Cohn.

MLB has a domestic violence problem! 

Owned.

So the Sheriff is going to be charged for falsifying information? 

Made them feel... American! 

Lack of nuance and context mixed with authoritarianism... sounds patently American! 

Hot take on ‘meh’, Drew!

We’ve got another Masshole Snowflake. 

He’s not.

Nothing says comedy like a laugh track! 

Uhhh from their own supporters section?

You really don’t understand how any of this works do you? 

Well it does, because it’s a fucking remake.

So if people don’t speed as a result of knowing there’s a speed trap, then it is a preventative public safety tool.

So you’re saying you should start tipping the cashier?

I can comfortably conclude that you are an asshole.

Nice false dichotomy you’ve created. 

It sounds like a lot of your issues have to do with your incorrect expectations of Michael.

It sounds to me like you make a lot of assumptions, and then make strong conclusions based on those assumptions.