"It was great!"

So, everyone else read through that whole piece just waiting for her to talk about the sex, right?

On the bright side, Carolyn learned yet another new sex position, as it was the 145th consecutive issue to not feature "maybe later".

Did she really have to add that she spent four years trying to figure out what went wrong in her life?

Deeply hurt, yes.

[gets stomped to death by the hooves of dozens of stampeding bulls]

I'm very happy for Kevin. It takes some guys their entire lives to find their own Miss Wright.

"Anyone who unlocks this reward will see him replaced with Alex Smith"

This is what it's like to read an article about Tim Tebow on ESPN.

Suddenly, I feel a lot better about my QB stealing a laptop while in college.

Suddenly, I feel a lot better about my QB wearing a Dolphins hat.

Suddenly, I feel alot better about my QB Drew Brees, doing commercials with One Direction.

Further evidence RGIII is still a cornball brother. -Rob Parker

How sloppy do you have be as a team to let something like that go in?

He had to say that it was hacked. It was probably one of his friends that grabbed his phone or laptop when he wasn't looking. Just like that, a joke amongst friends gets turned into gay bashing and gets press coverage. That's the fucking world we live in now.

@tylerseguin92 Sorry, account was hacked. I AM a cow. Moo.

Only oilmen and spoiled men in Texas, and y'all know I'm no Daniel Day-Lewis.

NSFLunch

Hey! You got your Jezebel in my Deadspin!

Am I crazy or do those glasses not even have any lenses in them? What a fucking asshole.