My aunt owned a second-hand store when I was a kid. She also drank copious amounts of jug wine, which led to some seriously fucking weird presents. I think she would literally drink and throw random shit from the shop in gift bags to give her nephews and nieces.

i cannot stop laughing. Thank you.

So, "kitty" is big around my parts...

But...I AM descended from a dude that invaded with William the Conqueror. Of course, I live in Wyoming and I just find it an interesting little tidbit of family history, and nothing more.

Aw thanks! I feel better already. But fuck Cosby.

Looking at him standing in front of that fucking background like he's goddamned Bono makes me stabby.

This shit is making me ill. I am having a disturbing visceral reaction. Retching. Of course, the hangover doesn't help. But still...

I'm incredibly attracted to Ben Affleck right now. Like, I got that tingle. I've never felt this way about ol' Buttchin McSquareJaw before.

1. It's my facebook, not yours. Fuck off, dude.

Well, shit happens. I won't weep.

Um. Execution is not an appropriate response. Don't go straight to "He deserves to die for this." Because he doesn't. No one does.

I live in Wyoming. Most races were uncontested because democrats don't stand a chance here. My dad was voted out as a city councilman after an unbelievable vicious PAC ran attack ads against him (for a fucking city council seat in WYOMING for chrissakes). The amazing man who ran as a democrat for governor, Pete…

ME TOO. You are the best.

I don't think that this is needed to inspire girls to become marine biologists, because every fucking female cousin I had growing up wanted to become a marine biologist, and most little girls I know now do too. And I do NOT live near an ocean. The reason is dolphins.

And also, are chilis not soups? I feel like there needs to be a chili ranking.

I WANT to like French Onion soup. I really want to. I have ordered it at least a dozen times, at all sorts of restaurants, from not-so-fancy to pretty fancy, and it's always, always disappointing. It's like socks were marinated in hot water and then a soggy piece of bread was thrown on it, because FUCK YOU. I wish…

I'm fairly certain I'm going to read the FUCK out of this book.

Uh, she's not transgender.

It cooks eggs to over easy, over medium, or over hard. Perfectly round, perfect for breakfast sandwiches on an English muffin. It also warms up your ham or whatever meat, and I add cheese right at the end of cooking for melty gooieness. It's the best invention ever.