It cooks eggs to over easy, over medium, or over hard. Perfectly round, perfect for breakfast sandwiches on an English muffin. It also warms up your ham or whatever meat, and I add cheese right at the end of cooking for melty gooieness. It's the best invention ever.

I have this and it's the fucking best. Have you boiled eggs in it? They're fucking awesome. Sorry. This thing makes me enthusiastic.

Holy fucking jesus christ crap.

Me either. And it's not like I'm a highbrow TV snob, either. I watch Bones and Supernatural and It's Always Sunny, for chrissakes. But I can't say that I've seen a single second of this soulless piece of garbage.

FoCo is pretty liberal as well, no? But I see your point.

For some reason, in all of this ridiculousness, it's the KOOLAID MAN that's making me laugh hardest. I just picture him busting the wall at the Constitutional Convention, and everyone laughing and enjoying some ice cold Koolaid.

I grew up (and still live in) central and southern Wyoming, so I'm basically like a WAAAAY northern Coloradan.

Pick me! Except no reality TV. Reality is already too much. Let's watch terrible network television instead and make bets on how long each new show will last.

This is mine and it's wonderful: http://www.walmart.com/ip/West-Bend-2…

Dude I have one of these and it is the BEST and you can add cheese at the very end. Mine also makes great hardboiled eggs.

My first concert was also Garth Brooks. Luckily, my second concert, which was the very next night, was Metallica.

I found the biggest dildo ever. It doesn't look very fun, though.

Dude. Crazy old bat.

Did you poop gold?

I stopped reading at "non-alcoholic" because no thank you GTFO sparkling whatever

So this is going to sound creepy. But my dad's not a creep, I swear.

I'm also a Wyoming native. When I think of the words "flat accent", it makes me think of Midwesterners, and north Midwesterners especially, who have a way of flattening out their vowel sounds. I don't know anyone in Wyoming who talks this way, except for transplanted Midwesterners, haha. I think my speech, although…

Oh, young John Winchester >>>>> asshole old John Winchester.

I think I might be in love with you.