Jackie Collins, Judith Krantz, Shirley Conran and Jilly Cooper were my fairy godmothers. Their books stopped time and created a fluffy cloud of pure escapism. Complete with raunchy sex, Hermes bags, Perrier Jouet champagne and panthers on diamond leashes. *sigh* RIP Hollywood Jackie.

You eat the lunch your wife packed at like 10 a.m. then still go get your burrito. Or eat the burrito and throw the lunch away and never mention it. But you don’t, under any circumstances, risk fucking that situation up, you moron.

All kidding aside (and I do think Jim Tomsula is a font of silly quotes), he seems like a basically decent guy who has been promoted past his level of competence. So I guess yay that he is a head coach, but too bad that he’ll be the scapegoat when this talent-poor team with a horrible owner fails.

I noticed that the clock stopped after the offside penalty that was declined and the personal foul penalty earlier in the drive. I was wondering if the refs screwed that up. That doesn’t seem right that the clock would stop without using a timeout. It seems like it should restart when the ball is placed ready for…

Pictured: Deadspin Editorial Process

Why the comma?

There is a great book on Garfield’s assassination. Sorry he couldn’t have lived longer.

Can I just say here how much I love Snopes, and that the dumb shit people believe astonishes me?

I’m just impressed the RR even started.

I guess he didn’t care if he ever got back.

You mean Joe Girardi? Yeah, not going to happen.

The only thing that can stop a bad platform with an 85-foot drop is a GOOD platform with an 85-foot drop.

Should A-Rod be charged with murder or just involuntary manslaughter?

Fuck off.

This thread escalated rapidly.

Plus, Marchman would probably misidentify him as Stevie Wonder.

I’d be found by following the trail of my vomit

That’s the most pathetic Lambo crash since someone drove one into a lake.

I believe I saw this car the night it crashed. It was valet parked at The Mansion on Turtle Creek which is the nicest/most expensive hotel in Dallas. The guy wasn’t staying there, he was down at the hotel bar which is a known hangout of $30k millionaires trying to make it with actual millionaires. As we can see, he…

Should’ve checked tire pressures with a digital gauge. Probably was a couple PSI off on one side.