I have a detached retina in one eye, the right one. As hard as it may seem to believe my senses are heightened. They are. 20/10 vision, hear whispers.. The most interesting thing though is what I call "sonar". I feel whats coming on my right side. Fuck this, I'am a little tipsy and I could write for hours about…

There's a Roald Dahl story called The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar and within said story there is a tale of The Man Who Could See Without Using His Eyes. #StevieWonderSecretYogi

It's wine-o-clock at Demi's house.

Yes, like they got killed in a PVP battle and had a friend cast a resurrection spell.

"[Her] assistants have to carry backpacks filled with wine so that if Mariah's can ever needs a refill, they can go to a nearby bathroom and fill it up for her." Also: "When she had people over, she'd have people on her staff follow her with a portable speaker, playing music — so she could make an entrance with a…

That was pretty much my thought. As a fat guy, I don't like the idea of everything I do being cast in the light of my obesity. There is an actual person in there too— with talents and skills and feelings that have their own merits independent of my weight.

Cons: Can't take a beast to a party. Or anywhere.

Man, this is the kind of girl I could really take home to my paren—aaaaaaAAAARRGH! MY PARENTS ARE DEAD!!!

i love PL because you're like awww satan :(( and then milton jumps out from behind a corner and yells GOTCHA and then you're like SHIT! FUCK! You got me, Milton!

also this might be my fave sentence of all time, and was also said by yours truly when i read paradise lost.

Celebrate?

"Honey, if I die before you, will you remarry?"

i feel like karl's outfit is EXACTLY what satan would wear if he had a meeting with god. I DON'T NEED YOU LOOK HOW FAR I HAVE COME WITHOUT YOU I AM EDGY AND COOL DAD DAD LOOK AT ME DAD I LOVE YOU DAD

complicit?

How great would it be if there was a mix up at the hospital and Chelsea took home a curiously tan baby girl with a Bump-It and false eyelashes and Snooki took home a baby wearing a smart little business suit with a sensible haircut and holding a tiny BlackBerry?

This is a completely understandable response for me! I get VERY upset about the destruction of historical artifacts in action and adventure movies, for example. So much so that it distracts from my enjoyment of the action.

Ok, I'll be THAT PERSON. I kind of feel like you're an asshole for lying to your boyfriend about seeing this. It's funny to read but I would be pissed if someone lied me into seeing something that they knew I had issues with (like parasite horror or a doc on tapeworms). I say this as a horror/gore aficionado. Some…

Allen must really love you.

But it was more gross because she was impolite and inconsiderate. You can't go around a hospital spilling blood everywhere. That is unsanitary and not good for the other patients.