To be fair, there isn't a Lexington Redcoats.

I can see why he was confused.

I'm guessing she was a Tressel fan, even Pryor to the tattoo.

You're both wrong. It was a Stapp infection.

Correction...it's a Steph Infection

Gingeritis

Only once did I have a woman ask why I didn't request her ID. It was incredibly embarrassing to point out that it was because I remembered going to high school with her, and therefore knew her age. She clearly had no idea who I was and squirmed when I told her that, while my face was red enough to be seen from space.…

IT'S PORNOGRAPHY. PURE PORNOGRAPHY.

I take it as a compliment if I'm carded. I'm nearly 30, and when someone asks for my ID I prefer to think of it as I look super young still. Logic dictates otherwise, but these are MY rose-colored glasses, dammit.

get. in. me.

Oh god, dog people are the worst. I was dragged to all sorts of shows when I was a kid, they are almost as bassackward as Republicans. When I first saw best in show I truly didn't understand it was a comedy bc I had already met some incarnation of every single character.

My husband and I went out to Red Lobster the other night because I was having a major shrimp craving and our options are few and far between in the Midwest. Our server was a blast, was clearly on top of all of his tables, was affable, apologetic when something took a while, and was generally just really good at his…

I once had a woman get angry at me because I didn't ID her. I carded her friend who could have easily been 18, but not her because she was clearly 30+ and she started to cry and yell at me. Then the one that I did ID told me that I "needed to be nicer" and got angry when I pointed out that it was my job to card people…

I wish there was another day for submissions because I have a DOOZY from yesterday.

I'm not a betting man, but I would be willing to bet that any number of those Midwestern dog show folks finance their enterprises by selling monogrammed thermoses.

My manager gave me a free meal that night for dealing with them. Silver lining?

I already knew it was Monday this time! But only because yesterday was Super Bowl Sunday...

"...(which they only ordered after I disappointed them with our lack of mountain dew)."

Sometimes I wonder what it's like to live inside the brain of a sociopath...

He turns to his bright-eyed eight year old, sitting but two feet from me, and says, "You see son? This is why you should stay in school."(FFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU)