His gf is really a man, the stuff was for her, and DeMarco Murray is actually gay...?

Because if you're a person who is in possession of cologne and underwear, you're most likely gay...is that the logic? Is it the underwear or the cologne that is is more indicative of gayitude?

Hey reader, did you lose a black, Velcro, wallet with $500 cash, 2 credit cards ending in 8943/3241, and a subway gift card with $12.50 on it?

Same exact thought I had when I read the original shoplifting story.

One of two possibilities:

He shit his pants and needed clean underwear and something to cover the smell is my guess. But then again, I've read nearly every Funbag.

"so we can get him the help he needs", Kalaf finished, before breaking off into peals of laughter with the rest of the Deadspin bullpen, who were making jerking-off gestures the whole time

The first rule of Cologne and Underwear Club is DO NOT TALK ABOUT COLOGNE AND UNDERWEAR CLUB.

A few WEEKS? Why have you just been sitting on the tip so long, Samer? You're even worse than my ex-girlfriend. Hey-oooo!!!!

"Oh, you mean 'Nail Salon'?"

I think Rashad is less under the influence of a cult than self-interested: 1) rehabilitate Cosby's reputation, 2) controversy ends, 3) those reruns back on the air, and 4) start up those residuals—which have likely been a generous percentage of her income for years.

That's what I want to know! WHAT DOES IT MEAN???

I thought it was odd back then and now I suspect The Cos torpedoed her career. He considered her difficult which seems to mean she didn't care to have him control her love life, her fashion and hair choices, or acting jobs.

"Silky ribbons of juicy pleasure wobble through my nethers...I can feel my pussy wetting in my panties."

What's the name of the guy who wrote this?

Ill be sure to feign surprise when "lacey noonan" turns out to be a cross dressing John Madden sitting behind a typewriter.

Isn't this a knock-off of the Roethlisberger fan-fic Fifty Yards of Grey?

The Blanche DuBois voice is exactly how I would expect this woman to sound like

- Randle: Listen, rookie. I need you to help me out on this. I need to grab a few things at the store, but I forgot my wallet at the stadium. Here's what you're gonna do, rookie: stand at the front of the store, wave your arms, make a commotion - just make sure the security guard doesn't notice while I grab what I…

He's just preparing for December when the whole roster collectively shits its pants.