Not at all. I love the World Cup, and in fact I have had a hard time becoming a fan of the sport more generally because none of the other soccer I’ve followed comes close to the excitement generated by that tournament (I am maybe coming around to the Premier League, tho).

I don’t know a lot about soccer, but I know this: when you hear “lock” and “USMNT” in the same sentence, you can set your watch to the “this was supposed to be the year,” and “biggest disappointment yet” takes just over the horizon.

He’s just not the player we all hoped he would develop into. The only thing you can really say about Iman is that he shows up every night and is a middling NBA role guy.

I was pretty sure I knew where you were going, but a satisfying ride nonetheless.

In other totally accurate news that is not at all borne of people trying to scoop each other, the 2023 Reds have accepted President Chris Rock’s invitation to the Black House to celebrate their World Championship over Las Vegas. Winning pitcher and Center Fielder Hunter Greene is reportedly very excited to meet not…

You forgot Kevin Maas and Butch Huskey.

Don’t begrudge the judge for interview drudge.

He has confessed in a secular confessional to betraying the trust of his wife, and perhaps of the women who considered him a mentor before he moved them to another spot on the sliding scale of human interaction. 

I had a very similar reaction. And if you read the story in the Oregonian, it explains that recidivism among juvenile sex offenders is actually very low following treatment (maybe that’s common knowledge among educated people, but I always understood the opposite to be true in cases of pedophilia). 

Counterpoint: no one can take away what LeBron did in 2016. It will live forever. He’s had his moments. Plenty of them. And, god forgive me, as much as I can’t stand the whole Golden State show, I am happy for Durant. He seems like a decent guy.

The Nats are just incredible this year. I know we’ve seen this before, and I know they have let their fans down before, but this is it, man. It’s gonna happen. This is the year the Nats are gonna make it all the way to the NLCS.

perfect. +1

To be fair, I am not mad or outraged by Maher’s use of the n-word. I assume that white people say “nigger” in private conversations with other white people all the time.

Tick, tock, you racist motherfuckers. 

Old white dudes: getting pissed off about inconsequential shit since 482 B.C.

You mean that he was too chicken shit to appear, not to chicken shit to appear. “To” is a preposition with several meanings, including “toward” and “until.” “Too” is an adverb that can mean “excessively” or “also.”  

Owing to their complete and utter inability to laugh at themselves, Sandra Denton’s request to perform a few songs was rejected by conference organizers.

Why did you put “bean” after “White” but none of the other beans? Racist.

Everyone needs to calm down about this. Mr. Met only has four fingers . . . he is the JPP of mascots! . . . he is incapable of giving anyone the middle finger because he doesn’t have one to give.