Wait. WTF? My Deadspin doesn’t look like that at all. I have no tabs.

I weep for the death of the imagination of the American youth.

Hillary Clinton voters everywhere approve this message.

Most attractive female Facts of Life cast member: Blair by a lot or Blair by a little?

me too! You’re ok, Ancho (and bonus points for Samer for the gentle and non-snarky rebuke. What a great day to be alive!)

But publicity for what? So he can sell a few autographed baseballs? Come on. I know the Mets as an organization are dumb, and yes LOLMETS and all that, but Alderson is a sharp and experienced baseball guy. Is the idea here that he got hoodwinked into this signing completely unaware of what he was doing and what the…

Here’s a hot take that a lot of people may have missed in this story (I sure did): Tebow is represented by the same agent as Cespedes and DeGrom. Is Sandy doing him a favor to grease the skids to bring back Yo!?

I really like the idea of this becoming increasingly nuanced and parsed, to the point that Joe Flacco and two assistant QB coaches are standing for the first one minute and thirty-six seconds of the anthem, kneeling for the next twelve seconds, and then doing push-ups for the last eight, because that’s how you…

You left out the best part! “If it doesn’t turn around soon, this will be the most disappointing even year in Giants history.” This is incredible because I honestly don’t know whether he is trolling the even-year / odd-year nonsense or if it has so infected Giants fans and their writers that he means this as an…

Tebow will Make the Mets Great Again.

It’s nice to see the Seahawks using this platform as a creative way to support all of R. Kelly’s victims.

Watched this last night and knew the bat flip would be up here this morning; it was a glorious one. But you’ve got to post the Spanish audio of the home run call, too. It was epic. (Here’s a link; I am too old and stupid and clumsy to know how to embed it. You have to sit through the SNY and WOR calls first, but it’s…

Michael Phelps promptly shattered Lochte’s short-lived record by getting indicted much faster and on a much more difficult crime.

I could study this comment for years. Like a biblical scholar dissecting words and phrases and different translations. Betty White. You win man. Every part of this comment is a gold medal.

Sure. And I will be nice about it, even though you were not. In my opinion, one example of “the lethal combination of implicit bias and lax gun laws” is the shooting death of unarmed teenager Trayvon Martin by a private citizen who thought (and I have no doubt he believed, in the moment) that he was defending himself…

It was Ruben Tejada, but you get a star because we all know what you meant and I am being a pedant.

I was thinking the exact same thing when the author mentioned the part about the woman in the hijab. She would’ve taken 50 shots in under 60 seconds in an open carry state . . . . and she would’ve been just another victim of the lethal combination of implicit bias and lax gun laws.

Every time I open a jar of sauce or jam or salsa that my wife and kids cannot open, I am reminded of the power of my grip - which is roughly equivalent in both power and its ability to smite enemies as that of the One Ring - and I feel calm and confident and at peace with the world, secure in the knowledge that I can…

Paplebon as Trump fan is as surprising as . . . . nothing. It’s not surprising at all. I literally cannot think of anything obvious and dumb enough as a placeholder here. Paplebon as Trump fan is literally the most expected and yeah-of-course-he-is thing ever. Congrats, dick. You found the yin to your yin.

I love this so much.