The Washington Post called the Dolphins’ decision to take him at 13 a “high risk, high reward” move. What are the chances that the author intended the double entendre? It’s the kind of fairly obvious but ok-that-wasn’t-terrible kind of joke a certain Kinja commenter I know might have provided in this very space.

“Cry, me”

I am so tired of this myth: most guys love to eat box, and the whole “it’s not sanitary” thing is uninformed and borderline sexist. Jesus, grow up.

I thought for sure they’d go with haz-mat suits this year.

“You touch this watch and I will fucking end you, bitch.”

So the take away here is that my son, John David Sidebar, is going to fucking crush corporate America, right? Got it.

The guys in the SNY booth last night kept saying that Hamilton mis-played the ball and that’s why he had to jump, but I just don’t see it. Plawecki hit the tar out of it and it was tailing away from Hamilton but fast. He looked like he took the right route to the ball and just made a nice catch.

“I lost a lot because the Pats drank.”

Agree. Interestingly, the answer to both of your questions is “Candy Crowley.”

this is so stupid, +1

I love this so much. Every sportswriter in America should have to read this. If you put this on a t-shirt I will pay $24.99 plus shipping and handling for it. Size large.

Two old white dudes screaming at each other about something that 94% of the population either doesn’t understand or doesn’t give a shit about.

A direct hit from a Syndergaard fastball and his finger is not broken? Brandon Phillips is fucking Ironman, y’all.

THEY ARE AMAZING IT ISN’T BOASTING YOU QUASI-SENTIENT PILE OF MEATLOAF. GAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Sort of, but the few objective metrics that exist tend to support the claim that he is good. Read the Grantland piece (he says less, makes fewer mistakes, etc.).

nah

I know Grantland is a dubious source around here for some, but this is telling:

Collinsworth is great, dude. The fuck r u talking about? His analysis is thoughtful, correct and insightful? What more do you want?

Tirico + Collinsworth would have the potential to be one of the better football broadcasting duos ever, no?

Just another hatchet job by Gawker on a beloved wrestling icon.