Alton says paring knives are terrible and don’t have one, and you know, I’m starting to believe him.

Alton says paring knives are terrible and don’t have one, and you know, I’m starting to believe him.

That’s pretty much me.

Can confirm I'm pretty fucked up, but I don't know if my sleep habits are a factor.

I mean the alternative is being an adult, so that's right out.

It's fine, but you'll want to leave the panel van at home this time.

Lord the first 10 minutes of UP was a gut-punch.

What do you mean, all four tires are properly inflated, we're good to go!

It looks to me like the Mercedes was tracking back onto the road when it hit the truck. It got bounced off the curb, but it's more the constable's timing that saved him, and the curb that kept the truck from plowing him instead.

"Qu’ils mangent de la brioche."

Much as I love AWD, It’s not something you want or should get in a first car. Its handling is counter-intuitive at the limits, as many, many former WRX drivers learned the hard way via backing into poles and trees at 80mph.

Seeing anyone pass on the right from any sort of close proximity always gives me a clench moment.

I don't know whether to high-5 you or send you to bed without dinner. People died, mang.

That's like acknowledging that the ocean exists, but still refusing to touch it.

There's just no un-fucking his situation at this point. Trying to wiggle out of it would just get him even more fucked, so it's best for everyone concerned for him to just take his fucks like an adult.

I just can't get behind a FF "performance" car, no matter how much fun it allegedly is. AWD Fiesta RS or GTFO.

18 months? That's just about long enough to have it, need it once, and have it not work and be just out of warranty so you have no recourse. Well played.

18 months? That's just about long enough to have it, need it once, and have it not work and be just out of warranty…

I’m the best there is at what I do.

Karnak is being written by Warren Ellis right now, of COURSE he’s an asshole.

Public shaming is a powerful and vastly underused tool.

That being said, one must be careful that you're actually using it only on people who have actually done something wrong.

I'm guessing the tire pressure on the left front must have been off by half a pound.