NSFW or anywhere else . . .

Tall kidneys you say?

Wheels should match the trim and bumpers. Old vehicles can pull off chrome since the entire front and back ends of the vehicles are chrome. Now we know we should be getting brushed aluminium at the bling price point, so machined finish is a must if the wheels have to shine. I still give Mercedes respect for attempting…

Not putting miles on your Ferrari is like not having sex with your Girl Friend so she’ll be more desirable to her next Boy Friend.

No one will be pulling harder for team USA at the Summer Olympics in Brazil

1. We cover anything that moves (see: trains)

I bet he got off at the wrong station.

Yes...I’m sure his rapid aging over the past 7 years is because he’s spending all his time drinking coffee with Jerry Seinfeld instead of tending to the needs of the country. Give me a break. Everyone’s allowed to have coffee. He didn’t even leave “the office”. Have you taken a coffee break before?

Envy suits you.

I’d build an indoor go-kart track on the White House grounds if I were president.

Jerry: So... Donald Trump.

Yanno, I’ve been a Jalop longer than any of the writers (maybe not Graverobber). WTF with being in the grays?

One of the shittiest things about being President, and there must be a long list of shitty things about that gig, would be not being able to drive anymore.

fecal icing on this whole impressive shitcake.- woah I need this as a phrase of the week

Ambient sound > Silent > Obnoxious music.

How can something which has never lived truly be alive? But alas, what does it actually mean ‘to live’? Does a 996 not feel pain when its IMS bearings fail, resulting in catastrophic engine failure? Does an All Road not suffer from indignity when driving around on a sagging suspension, forcing its owner to commute to…

I know it’s wood, but for a 1:1 “replica” the lines are really bad, from that shot of the front I’d be hard pressed to tell it was supposedly an E Type.

If you’ve watched a Jalopnik video this year and enjoyed what you saw, thank Nicole. She and the rest of our (relatively tiny!) video team busted ass all year to take Jalopnik video from scratch to something amazing.

Russ Wheeler.