We can’t all be Ivanka. : (

Ladies, don’t you wish Trump wanted to fuck you?

Dating your former partner’s child is weird, even if you didn’t marry that partner. I do not understand people who choose to focus on that part of things at all.

I actually did some pretty extensive research into the Kennedy (specifically Eunice’s) involvement in institutional reform for mentally handicapped children (she is afterall the person who started the special olympics) and I walked away uncertain about Joe’s decision to lobotomize Rosemary.

Screw this guy. You know what I did while my wife was away on important business this weekend? I cleaned the kitchen within an inch of its life, did 5 loads of laundry and cooked the best goddamn BBQ chicken on this side of the Mississippi. Thats how you fill a power void, motherfucker.

okay Beyonce was amazing... but can we talk about Lady Gaga for a second? our national anthem is known among singers for being a bitch and a half, and girl NAILED it without breaking a sweat. I was seriously impressed.

If I’m correctly understanding what you mean, you’re saying how come it’s not racist that his accent is so bad? It’s not racist because not only is the man doing the accent Black himself, therefore not making whatever he is doing about race, but he is also not some butthead following Africans around making fun of…

She was pure fucking evil, man. I knew someone who worked there... She also fired a woman for crying on the job after losing her husband and kid in a car accident, and only being allowed to take 3 bereavement days. Was fired because she couldn’t “keep her home and work life separate.”

During a JOB INTERVIEW.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows?

“So, your table stopped me and asked what kind of fish they had was because they thought you were lying to them; I told them it was cod and they asked why we didn’t have real fish.”

“Michelle and Ryan’s nups, which took place on a remote island in Thailand that could only be accessed by “traditional wooden long-tail boats,” had everything: escort cards calligraphed atop “foraged river rocks,” hand-dyed silk flags for no reason, food poisoning, bridesmaids that knew how to sing, and macaque…

ASSEMBLE THE ENORMOUS CATAPULT!

I DID. And I learned that Scandal is an incredibly difficult show to bingewatch.

This is seriously impressive. Did you rewatch the whole season?

Haters gonna hate, I love my ring.

We need a mandatory high school class in workers rights in this country. Like the year that you’re eligible to work you attend a class where they talk about minimum wage, hourly pay and wage theft, sexual harassment, workplace injuries and your rights in regards to them, and all the other crap that can happen on the…