Found it!

I highly recommend it; portable apps solve so many headaches.

This. Ever since college—working in labs all the time, unable to install or use my own apps, or on machines that reset overnight whether you installed or not—I have kept a thumb drive of portable apps in my bag; they're lifesavers at libraries, on company laptops, or whenever I need to use someone else's machine—like…

"... like wearing an Al Sharpton mask while wearing a loin-cloth, carrying spears, war-paint, etc."

I don't know how you managed to sound so intelligent and professional while discussing urination. Fair play to you, sir.

Two things: 1. Don't ever pull the gun from the purse—once you have your hand around it, shoot the guy right through the purse. And 2. Get used to swinging that purse with the gun still inside it. Practice often. If some guy grabs you, whip that purse against his head first—just about any gun will ring his bell…