Filed to: Fish Tank

These days, when people say complicated they often mean hard. Or just uncomfortable. But a lot of it is simple, but you have to say no. Give up some money for some dignity. Give up some privilege for some fairness. Hell, I'm not even sure it's hard, or that people doing the giving up are losing anything theyd really…

On one hand, you have the Chinese government who wants the ability to extradite residents of Hong Kong with no oversight. The same Chinese government that regularly disappears people in it’s custody, and is running literal concentration camps for ethnic minorities and political dissidents.

“the greatest pitcher of his generation”

This shit doesn’t just smell fishy, it smells like a goddamn cannery. In one fell swoop, the Dallas PD gets to murder a key witness, set up a potential retrial for Killer Becky with the Elmer Fudd face and paint negroes as stupid.

Not just find them, find them nearly instantly.

Sounds fishy to me too. I know that if you are selling the weeds, you didnt just start last week AND if you are selling the weeds and the cops come to your house/apt asking about a murderrrrr you are NOTTT offering to testify for a muffkn thang because you have a crib full of the weeeeeeeds man! Just does not add…

Yeah, let me guess how they knew he was a suspect he...“fit the description”?

You seriously want us to believe Dallas PD the motherfuckers who let Lee Harvey Oswald get shot while in their custody don’t know how to find three patsies to pin their bullshit on?

This sounds like a bad episode of 21 Jump Street. I mean they all sucked once Johnny Depp left. I mean this weed must’ve been so good that it made you shit diamonds. Again how dumb do they think we are? Yeah we need to drive four hours to get this weed because there is no one in Louisiana that has good stuff.

You raise an interesting point about reverse vampires. Your ideas intrigue me, and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

It would have been more believable if they’d just blamed the Reverse Vampires!

This is literally the plot of LA Confidential, except a thousand times stupider.

Really glad he said this.  I know some people that listen to him who probably need to hear it.  

Ray, as always, bringing the goods. I hope you get another full-time gig soon, although I really look forward to your stuff here.

Bill Buckner, God rest his soul, cringed at that error.

You sweet summer child. 

I think “pulling off the ol’ double moochy” is what got him into trouble in the first place.

NFL: here is a bajillion dollars. All you have to do is not be a despicable moron for few years, we good?

It bothers me that the Green Wave wears sky blue head-to-toe.