I want to thank everyone at jezebel etc. for continuing to use descriptions like these for Drumpf: “ wimpish moldy muffin”. I also enjoy “Trumples”. It’s amazing.

My dumbass cousin voted for Gary Johnson in OHIO and then posted on Instagram this morning hysterical about how the country could elect Trump.

Fuck Hillary supporters who said “Nah, they aren’t tilting this thing towards Hillary” even though the DNC head WAS a former Clinton Co-Chair? Fuck them for nominating a Female George Bush that got caught in lie, after lie, after lie and instead of owning up, decided to blame Russia and bemoan that Trump said mean…

There are still pricks who believe it doesn’t matter who’s in the White House. The Iraq war wasn’t proof enough for them.

Those people will lie or “misremember” who they voted for in the future, when they talk about the election with friends, children, relatives, and neighbors. They will pretend they were not the morons who risked everything for their egos and didn’t barricade Trump.

Fuck people who stayed home, wrote in Bernie, or left the President choice blank (My Father.) even more.

Guys, in the lead up to this election, I read so many articles about the Nader effect in 2000 and how we can’t let that happen again. And yet here we are. This is fucking bullshit.

The worst thing about a Mazel Tov cocktail is having to light all nine fuses before throwing it.

Donald Trump slapped his second-most slappable son, who was wearing a Yankees shirt at the time?

How hard is this? just become the Cleveland Spiders. It’s an awesome. It’s historical. And you’ll have a unique, non-racist mascot and could design a sweet new logo.

This one time, there was a huge possum sitting on my backyard fence, and I side-armed a tennis ball right at it and knocked it off. Pretty sure I had that same goofy grin on my face. That was my World Series.

Even if they don’t, John McCain can still go fuck himself.

Well, according to 538, the Dems have a 72% chance to win the Senate so John McCain can go fuck himself.

Hell, can you imagine if Hillary had done this?

When questioned by a Times reporter Tuesday night, Trump vigorously denied the claims, “shouting” at the reporter in question, threatening to sue the newspaper and accusing the reporter of making up the allegations in order to hurt his campaign, calling her a “disgusting human being” and told her, “None of this…

Nothing in our article has had the slightest effect on the reputation that Mr. Trump, through his own words and actions, has already created for himself.

Here’s what I don’t get — if she’s such an evil mastermind that she’s so thoroughly outmaneuvered him and set him up for a humiliating defeat — isn’t that an argument in her favor?

I tried to watch part of that rally but gave up after five minutes. He proceeded from conspiracy theory to conspiracy theory with no natural segues - just a bulletpoint list of freeform rambling about different topics.

In some parallel universe, breast cancer survivors wear Cleveland Browns ribbons.