NINE-NINE! 

You say that, but right now, a young Zephyr Timblebum is booking her first modeling gig. And Glynda Wonklefuss is heading to Hollywood to follow her dreams.

Bleep Bloop Bleep Let’s Laugh With Celebrities With Mr. Good Time Smiley Pants

I only learned fairly recently that this movie was written by Phil Coulson, Agent of SHIELD, and it kind of blew my mind.

Grocery charity is both the saddest (because why should it be necessary) and most awesome (because most liberating) charity in the world. I was once at T&T market in Vancouver, and short like 90 cents on my bill at the store, and I was desperate for the food, and without another word the bagger leaned over and scanned…

All I care about is that Bobby’s still here.  Amen.

It pains me how much I have to repeat that Best Chris will always be situational. This time around, I will use romance novel situations to illustrate.

PETA is expanding into biological warfare?

Aquaria feels like the epitome of pay to win

Because there’s nothing interesting going on with the top 4 queens, I’ll talk about something else ...

Yeah but S-LAY COULEE killed that. Also Pep’s “oh you know the rest” still kills me to this day.

Yikes.

It is irritating to see dick jokes in the comments section of Jez. I don’t even know why it irritates me so much, but it really does. Like this isn’t Reddit, bro. Just thinking out loud - which I figured would be fair since I had to read your dick joke.

Excuse me, but are Christie Brinkley and my fake boyfriend Michael Avenatti dating?!?!?

*gasp* the name of OUR sex tape!

“Saved by Hulu,” the name of your sex tape.

I’ve heard about the nail polish trick and I might try that next time, thanks for the reminder! My only bit of skepticism re: allergy is that my right piercing has never given me any problems. Plus, the left one was a little more trouble to put my earring through at one point...I wonder if I’m dealing with sensitive…

Perhaps you have a mild allergy to cheap metals? Do all earrings hurt, or just non-silver/gold? My cheap solution to this is to paint the posts with clear nail polish.

They’re the celebrity version of a game I like to play with my Facebook feed-that game is “related or dating” — it’s every bit as entertaining/frightening as it sounds. 10/10 highly recommend it.