I feel like he would give a *perfect* hug. Not even like an ass grabbing, sexy hug. But a big, crush you a little but it's perfect hug. He's just built for it. I VOTE THOR HUGS FOR ALL.

Ugh.

I really worded that weirdly. I meant that I don't watch is show outside of clips that pop up on Jez and the like.

I've got such a weird crush on Jimmy Fallon. He's not my type, I find some of his comedy grating, and I don't even have cable to watch his show. But something about the way he fanboys is just precious.

This case has not failed to make me sick, hopeless, and full of rage for the past three years. It boggles the mind that anyone could, with all earnestness, that the victim was the bad person in this. The details remain the same but hurt with every repetition.

Shockingly, pro-life agendas still have very little to do with protecting women, children, or families and everything to do with punishing those immoral enough to be poor, female, and human.

Married white women are the only ones who don't have to feel infinite shame for sullying their maidenhead. They shouldn't be happy about it, of course, though they can take pride in achieving a woman's greatest goal if they manage to have a child.

I'm fairly certain she's euphemistically saying that he pulls out. IE - he has enough "control" to not accidentally ejaculate inside her.

You sarcasm detector needs adjusting. This is Jezebel, we often respond to clusterfuckery with sarcasm when the general state of the world gets too heavy.

Livin' on the edge there, man. Your life is clearly analogous to that of a major rock star at the peak of fame. Enjoy your time at the top.

Brilliant. That's some thrifty mom shit there.

Priorities.

"Very small orgy" = what? A threesome? Two pairs of swingers? Porn on the TV while you jack it?

There's this amazing recent invention that, it seems, a lot of parents don't know about. They call them "babysitters". You pay them to watch your kids while you enjoy some time away with other adults in adult-only spaces. You know, movies, plays, fancy dinners, orgies, what have you.

Those bitches. Regret isn't the same thing as rape, ladies. If you don't want to have sex with that guy you shouldn't be drinking.

No one gets raped at Wisconsin schools! There aren't any reports at all.

Scene: Late enough to be early morning, the pantry of some twenty-something roommates. A stale package of Rice Cakes sits forlornly near the back. A package of Oreos basks in its own glory as other, less desirable snacks grovel for attention. Enter Cotton Candy.

God, how awful.

Fried chicken has to be marinated in concentrated stereotype and served on a bed of casual racism to be truly considered a delicacy.

You know, I never considered that I might be able to *do* something about the issue. I mostly just wanted to know so I could protect my neck. Vampires, you see, cannot bites through a raised tee shirt collar.