I think the moral here is that no good comes of sexting your cousin.

Here's a perfect GIF for this story :

It's basically a "family" photograph of the whitest chicks ever.

I like that she still wants to fit in "dye his carpet pink" between all that evil.

All of this is vastly inferior to http://spinning3dpornhubcomments.tumblr.com/

* makes note *

unless a woman asks, im not doing the ol ' meat slap across face ' thingy.

What I love the most about this particular thread is that there's a bunch of English pedants (self included) discussing the perfect punctuation for a porn tumblr.

Why he slapped her face

Word! Now that I'm finally off work it's time to get excruciatingly drunk (already in progress) in a pool and rant at everyone about the Hobby Lobby decision. USA! USA! USA?

GRADE INFLATION. That heart one totally should have gotten an F.

I'll also take my porn sans dick face slapping.

When my husband and I were first dating, we ended up looking up some French art house film we'd seen that started with a 5 minute close up of some dude's junk.

I once stopped my car in the middle of the street because I was so sure that a hedgehog was crossing in front of me. I waited for a solid 5 minutes (it was 3am, no traffic in a residential area) until I realized a)that's fucking stupid there are no wild hedgehogs in this area and b)it was actually a pinecone.

Honestly, I'm not sure. I know when I was a kid, I HATED Hebrew National — but I hated anything that was remotely healthy for me, so that's not an opinion to be trusted.

this x 1000

As adults, we do not give birthday gifts in my family, and we do a $20 "Secret Santa" for my mother's side of the family at Christmas. Only children receive consistent Christmas gifts on both sides.

I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but it sounds like the gifts are just the tip of the iceberg, and that your problems with your family are more deep-seated than not getting as many gifts as others on Christmas.

God, I can't wait for next season.

Also a fair point. There's also the fact the Bennet DID eventually come clean. And then it was covered up, because it was just easier for whats-his-name to keep his new position of power that way. And of course Bennet saw this as the perfect excuse to continue being a coward about it all, he could pretend the blame…