I have never worn Spanx in my life, but I would just like to say...

Not me. Gotta look slim in the afterworld!

You can pry my Spanx from my cold, dead thighs.

Fool-proof way to test eggs: you fill up a bowl with water, enough that the eggs will be covered. Then you gently drop the eggs in. If they sink, they're good. If they float, they're bad. As long as part of the egg is touching the bottom, it's okay if they stand up straight or lean to the side. But if they float- toss…

It's a repackaged for direct-to-video of a failed Fox pilot called Manchester Prep, recut with nudity.

Wait, how was there a Cruel Intentions 2? Prequel?

So that is your secret for staying so thin, you bitch!

I don't think you understood my point. Honestly, in a conversation about childhood obesity, organic/nonorganic shouldn't even be part of the conversation. It muddies that waters because it doesn't really affect obesity. Once we can get shit set up so people can afford (in both money and time) to eat conventional…

At this place, you buy tickets instead of making a reservation. Which is like when you buy tickets to a concert- you either need to find someone to buy your tickets, or you eat the money. If I had forked over $200+ per ticket and the babysitter cancelled last-minute, I would probably still go because $400+ is nothing…

Having kids means making sacrifices.

Wow, Mugatu can really turn it OUT.

Describing something as an ornate vagina is one way to get me to click on a link.

You think celebrities are ever embarrassed of their fans?

Well now I'm hungry.

I went hunting for my first ultrasound photo:

Omg that blister! I can't imagine spending an entire awards show walking around with that and desperately trying not to limp/wince in pain the entire time.

What's going on with this toe?

I thought it was Jennifer Lopez.

Ok- Naya is gorgeous and talented in ways Kim will never be, but am I the only one who thought this was Kim Kardashian?

You forgot one.