Stewart is gone. I’ll give Noah a try. Otherwise:

Conan was robbed, but his TBS show is more fun anyway. - So Sayeth this “Dorkball Comedy Nerd!”

I cook all the time and I’m good at it. I have never been able to make dinner in 30 minutes.

A really crappy part of myself immediately thought, “but he could be a ghost!”

One should only hope a massive counter-suit is pending for the similarities between Pixels and Pixels.

Proceed with caution. It's a shady bitch.

he’s got some splainin’ to do.

If you knew the Hulk I knew,

you’d know his racist heart.



He’d never want to hurt white fans,

or his family from the start.



If you knew Hulk Hogan,

you would know how hard he fake fought...



and the way it brought a smile to people light, medium and dark

I think you mean “Kenan Thompson from All That”

Way, way back in the Pleistocene era, I saw a young Jake Gyllenhaal in a play here in London. I had no idea who he was, wasn’t really interested either. Nobody was. He wasn’t the star, just a supporting player, a plot-serving functionary. But he was so good that it made everyone in the theatre collectively sit up and…

Avocados at Law!

I used to call Jake Gyllenhaal The Poor Man’s Tobey Maguire, but he’s become The Rich Man’s Tobey Maguire, and I think that’s beautiful.

500 days without Kardashians!

*cackles maniacally while throwing misused apostrophes and commas into a bubbling cauldron*

Or delete it and give up whatever likes you’ve already gotten. Personality test to see whether one’s need for perfection or need for public evidence of affirmation is stronger.

Maybe she should just reread her comment a dozen times before posting it LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE DO.

Disagree. you should have to LIVE IN THE SHAME of your typos, and never be able to delete them.

Viggo and Toothless - brothers from another mother.