You think your disappointed. I only visit Jalopnik everyday for the flower arranging tutorials.

Excuse me.

Remember to let that Lays bag breathe a little after you open it, I’m sorry aerate.

Other than me screaming at her, a large usher coming to my rescue, and a manager threatening to call security and then throwing her out, no.

Well... that was assault, that last one at the movies. Did anything come of that?

Today’s line up was actually pretty good all round. This week’s Oglaf is safe for work too, so here you go!

An investigation by Patricia Hernandez.

I persist in believing there isn’t such thing as a decent cup of hot leaf water.

Yeah, in Japan it’s more like “mayo squirted on top of pizza that already has toppings like tuna and sweet corn.” Again, not my cup of tea, but not the worst thing in the world.

No, we’d be given loaner genitalia.

There is nothing wrong with that last customer. Clearly, she was a robot who uses canola oil as fuel, and is trying to disguise herself as a human by ordering it with popcorn.

Mother likes her food hot. Musn’t upset mother!

How is it a blow? When Lucasfilm decided that those books were no longer canon, it’s not as if they dispatched people to go out and remove those books from circulation or existence. They’re still out there, you can still read and enjoy them, so what’s the problem? All the worldbuilding, all of the stories are still…

Next up, Kotaku reviews DEATH.

The path forward is clear.

Something tells me most of the people in Beverly Hills don’t have “hillbilly buddies”

Well, I get that she was harder to masturbate to. Those poor guys must have been so distressed

“According to the one source for information, the car uses a lot of parts from the Zaporozets 966, which makes sense.”