He could rip into the entire organization and take cheap shots at every beloved Philly figure (almost spelled that with a ‘ph’), and it wouldn’t matter to me. We won. I quit football. I can live a nice life. I’m 31. I still have time.

I think at this point most of us are like Eminem at the end of “Eight Mile.” OK, what are you gonna say? Santa Claus? Batteries? That mook who puked on the kid at the Phils game? Climbing poles? The Fucktomb? The overuse of “jawn?” Bring it. It’s all good.

::girding loins::

Don’t forget eating horse shit on video, Philly fan is hardcore 

I said this in another post: every fucking letter better be, “yes, some of our fans suck but WE WON THE SUPER BOWL! NO MORE NO RINGS MEMES! WEEEEE!”

I had a weird thought the other day that Drew should grant immunity to the team that wins the superbowl. Then I remembered that the Eagles won the superbowl and I’m a viking fan and I said, fuck that.

Haaaaa, I do the same thing! 

I re-read the 2017 Iggles WYTS to prepare.

How many jokes about the Vet having its own jail?

I already know how it’s gonna go. I’m gonna go into it like “haha well we have to have a sense of humor about ourselves,” and by the third paragraph I’m gonna be “THIS IS FUCKING HORSESHIT!” It’s like how all year long I’ll complain about our dumbfuck fanbase, but the minute some national media dipshit brings up Santa…

My body is ready.

I was at Monday night’s mess – probably the worst in-person game experience I’ve ever had, mostly because of the heat/humidity/complete lack of air movement in the stadium and partly because of Wilson Ramos – and on the way out said to my family that they are headed for the most disappointing 85-win bounceback season…

Black and white swirl pattern they put on development cars.

When did they take it off the cover?

Ditto. I’m hearing a ton of “This team sucks” comments from fans coming out of the shadows like Homer rocking Isotopes gear. This season has already gone well beyond what anyone expected in April, and it’s been a pretty solid year in Philly sports overall. 

+1 Smurf Turf

Or, wait for it, they wear other people’s uniforms. All the sudden you’re stealing plays form the Dolphins! BOOM!

They were probably a year ahead of schedule anyway, so its all gravy really

“Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more: it is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.”

Did he at least make the Patriots pay for the wall?