Nailed it.

Your move, giant lawn darts.

Ouch. That one guy landed right on his shuttlecock.

Or bring in a replacement?

Well, technically they’re both drifters.

Has anyone checked in Spanish Harlem?

Don’t give in to your anchor. It’ll weigh you down.

Some fo’c’sle have a problem with whatever you choose to do.

In Rodgers’ honor, Lambeau Field plans to sell a new sandwich called the “Hail Mary.” It’s full of grease.

I have to hand it to you, Barry: your post is on fleet. I’m surprised no one torpedoed this idea!

Take a bow for that one.

That should have read, “a much NAGGIER navy.”

That’s a textbook example of fractured English.

Remember Dexter McCluster? He was a favorite in our Yahoo! league for the same reason Ty Montgomery is.

Should I be 43 years old and jealous of another man’s baseball glove?

“Note: Adjective Man died on the way back to his home planet.”

I heard she’s angling for a job with the White Sox.

“Super Extreme DUI”should only be invoked when Red Bull or Four Loko is involved.

I mean, with Papelbon traded to Washington, the Phillies suddenly found themselves with an ex-Boston-pitcher-turned-liability gap.