What’s worse, the poor lamb sat straight down on the pot, thus accidentally inventing the world’s first tea cozy.

I mutton let myself make a lamb pun. Sheariously.

In related news, Gary Johnson was caught pinching a loaf behind an Albuquerque convenience store.

“The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn’t work and then they get elected and prove it.” —P.J. O’Rourke

I would love cream soda even more if every time I opened a 2-liter bottle of it, it didn’t go “Old Faithful” all over the counter top.

Dammit, you idiot: The Reds swept, not were swept.

Q: What do Saint Thomas and Tebow’s manager have in common?

Q: What do the Last Supper and the Arizona Fall League have in common?

+1

Jesus Wept, Tebow Swept

“If Allen Ginsberg Wrote A Sports Column....”

Possibly? My Italian is mezza mezza.

It should be noted that only one of the five teams on that ESPN list (so far) has gone on to win the World Series. In fact, both the ‘76 Reds and the ‘07 Rockies got swept in the Fall Classic.

Malatesta: Italian for “headache.”

You magnificent bastard. +1

Submitted for your consideration...

Didn’t “Poodles” Patel run a bootlegging racket out of Chicago? Used a pet shop as a front?

Has Leitch left any vulgar messages/ drunken death threats in response to your post about the infamous “Crown Their Ass” game?

I care, because Good God, you had Rex “the Sex Cannon” Grossman in your lineup?

I still remember that game. My wife and I were on our honeymoon in Aruba, and it was the last night before we had to fly home. We had just gotten back to the hotel after a night on the town, and I tuned in near the end of the third quarter, with the game looking like it was all but decided.