Any raccoon story or spotting (lots of them roaming in my hood) only reminds me of an episode of This American life, transcript 319, Act one: The Hills Have Eyes. That motherfucker bum rushed this lady, hissing all the while and then bit her through SNOW PANTS. That was in 2006, I’ve been terrified of them ever since.

I just keep laughing. Then I scroll through it again, then I laugh again.

I was pregnant and breastfed twice with breast implants, I never had issues except for giant-ism for a few months. All things returned to normal, I’m pleased to report.

Tinsley is the poster girl for arrested development: she hit her peak in her twenties and that’s where she’ll forever stay. “Voting is not my thing” made me spittin’ mad.

Is that meeting where he left his chin?

At first I read that as Doppelgangers and I was all “duh, you’re doing it wrong”. Then I saw the banger and I choked on my Costco lasagna.

Does anyone remember the note they left at their friend’s house? I could probably google but it would be more fun to hear it from you all. P. S. I watched this movie two or three times but that was a lifetime ago.

Samesies.

And JoJo, I guess. They just sort of ghosted, right?

It wasn’t just counting the triangles they struggled with, though. When the producers asked them what 27 divided by nine was, they stared at each other blankly. And at that point may or may not have started scratching out equations in the dirt.

This entire comment thread had me in tears.

This! It’s been exactly my theory from day one. It’s like you’re in my head, Stan.

But Dance Moms, right? I can’t quit it.

Tying my tubes guaranteed me a regular, six day period every 30 days. I’d go back for an IUD in a hot second if I could do it again.

Fuck me with these tweets. It’s almost a parody at this point and his overuse of exclamation points enrages me. How amazing would it be for twitter to cancel his account? His head would possibly spin right off of his saggy, fat neck.

Um, who?

Donald Trump is such a fucking dick.

Yes but they controlled every bit of that. No leaks, no photo shoots that weren’t planned to the T.

After years of seeing Brad and Angelina keep their personal shit so close to the vest I’m constantly surprised with every turn of this divorce. Shit must have gotten real for this to play out so poorly in the press.

I think that the nice thing for us ladies who breastfed (three times, happily) AND the anomaly of nursing moms who don’t actually lose weight doing it, it’s always a little hard to see those bodies bounce back. Legitmately (WHICH HAPPENS!) or after a lot of working out, etc. So I’m never that upset when I see these…