Maybe the Pacers will jump the Knicks to hire Rambis and then Phil can consider Vogel? Maybe?!?!? Oh please god why can’t this happen?!?!? What did I do to deserve this hell?!?!?

Shit, I’m supposed to have kids already? Now I’m even more irritated as I sit here in my law office.

Wait, they don’t void your contract?!?!? Nobody told me that!!!

And no, I didn’t read the whole article before posting this. So don’t ask.

Marie Staver created the Uberman schedule with her friend while attending St. John’s College in the early 2000s.

I’d rather focus on the fun but meaningless draftee-and-social-media story about how Eli Apple grew up as a Giant-hating Eagles fan. http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/nfl-shut…

Can it actually be? Am I rooting for the Caps? Oh god.

This is seriously the only use of the Crying Jordan meme that has ever made me laugh. So well done.

That is, indeed, some good sports mom.

I am annoying about Bob Mould the way other sportswriterpersons white people are annoying about Bruce Springsteen

This is not a funny story but I’m laughing at the idea of a judge calling something “frankly, quite illegal.” So Canadian!!

Suddenly a big fan of whoever runs the Bon Appetit Twitter account, and also this Alison Roman person.

Because it isn’t.

BoJack Horseman.

Excellent!! Well done.

“Oh my god . . . Now he’s singing to the cat!”

I’m trying to find a gif of Ferguson walking into the trash can from Tuesday’s New Girl but the internet is failing me. Just trust me, everyone — you need to see it. (And also Patches’ reel.)

I also remember Petr Nedved! Talk about different eras — he once scored 45 goals (5 less than Ovechkin’s league-leading 50 this season) and that was good enough for third on his TEAM. (Granted, the two teammates he was behind were pre-cancer-retirement Lemieux and in-his-prime Jagr, but still.)

Quick Craig MacTavish story — 1994-95 season, 13-year-old me and my sister are at a Rangers-Flyers game at MSG. At some point in the game, the Rangers lose an important defensive-zone face-off, and the drunk idiots behind us say, “Oh man, where’s Craig MacTavish [who played for the Rangers the previous season and was…

This is a horrible story and what I’m about to say is completely irrelevant, but . . .