"Paws . . . Laws . . . Jizz . . . Jews!"

You could even say that New York City was really the third character in this story.

Full House is prestige drama compared to Saved By The Bell.

Yes, this is not a hot take. Anyone pretending Saved By the Bell doesn't suck hasn't watched it since they were 14.

Other weird thing is, one of those MasterChef Juniors was on an episode of "Louie" this year. I guess maybe that's not all that weird, they probably all have agents.

At points, the film feels like The Tree of Life made by an idiot on amphetamines.

Yes. Yes they are.

Still all quiet on the chorizo front, though.

I saw it live, and her awesomeness had me in tears. And I'm a dude. A strange one, but still.

Hmm. I fit comfortably into the 18-49 AND 25-54 demos. What are the odds of that? But more importantly, did the show do well for me?

Theory: People in Ohio will be so happy police are needed.

Everyone know LeBron follows Windhorst wherever he goes.

If you can't get into the Godfather or Taxi Driver, don't bother trying Planet of the Apes. It does not hold up well.

But the Knicks have never traded a player of Carmelo's caliber under Dolan, so we can't look to history to see what they'll get for him. Also, I get if you won't go this far with me, BUT — Dolan got all hands-off with the Rangers after the lockout, and they're now a perennial contender who made the Finals this year. …

I actually don't mind this. Better than him signing with the Lakers straight up and the Knicks getting nothing. (My #1 desire was always a sign-and-trade with Houston, but that was never gonna happen.)

Come on now. Ginger's outfit cannot be "back in style," seeing as how it was never "in style" in the first place.

If Love is in his final year before definitely leaving you and Wiggins can be under your control for 8 years? Yeah.

Yeah, but more than half of all assorted chocolates boxes come without the chocolate map. We all know this. It is SUCH bullshit.

You seem to have a lot of strange emotions about Passaic for a Westerner.

I grew up in Jersey and live in another East Coast city. We also have the phrase "rise and shine" here, like everyone in America. I don't know exactly what "rise and grind" means, this being the first time I've ever heard it, but it doesn't seem to be an exact synonym for "rise and shine." I'm sure its roots can be…