Quarantine horniness just got turned up to 11.

Excuse me?

I’m sorry, but are people seriously so dumb that they think “offers valid while supplies last; winners will be notified” = “everyone gets a dress?” The brand handled this poorly, but JFC people. I have never, ever seen that language used to mean everyone gets something for free.

As a Chicago native, this pleases me. I’m now desperately craving a hotdog.

I’m now following Martha Stewart on IG as a result of this post.

I don’t know if fucking will help him on his path to self-awareness, but I’m certainly willing to volunteer.

Just start coughing.

Kelly Loeffler looks like Ann Coulter’s more popular sister.

I want to know why the mansion in the header photo looks like an unremarkable abandoned building.

I’ve been ordering from my favorite Indian delivery place like 3x a week because my quality of life will most definitely take a hit if they go out of business. 

What PS4 games are you considering?

This is pure blasphemy. 

I don’t even recognize other Easter candy. Cadbury or bust.

Just a reminder that Wayfair furnishes ICE detention centers.

The Karen “controversy” has been cracking me up this week. Nothing says “I’m a Karen” like trying to act like Karen is a slur.

It’s white knighting yet somehow even more pathetic.

The real MVP

They can parent their god damn kid like everyone else in a two income household that currently has both parents working from home?

If only I cared.

Hey Kim, you can do something without pausing to pat yourself on the back. Just FYI.