Please explain to me, in detail, how I'm out of my league. I've got all day. The A pillar and front license plate would've been fixed under warranty. You could probably get the latch that you broke fixed under warranty, too. The remote sensor? Poor design? I've owned two cars with proximity sensors for the fobs…

With a reply like that, sounds like you got what you deserved, pal (in more ways than one). Don't post here; you're a dick. Go to Autoblog or something.

Seems like you should've sat in the HORRIBLE seats longer before buying the car. You also should've test-driven it more, which would've let you hear potential rattles. Oh, and while sitting in it and test driving it, you could've listened to the "junk" stereo before buying it. You should've also seen the painted…

Awesome gif.

Smart is a bit of an overstatement. He's a skater who had the idea of doing stupid shit on camera. BFD.

Relax, Francis. Humor to lighten the mood is fine and he's not dead.

You shouldn't, but, unfortunately, you do. I've been on Jalop for about six years; there are a bunch of douches that post here (more now than a few years ago). So, like I said, a couple lines justifying your opinion in your OP would've gone a long way. If you don't like that fact, then don't post here. Or, if you…

All you had to do is post something like your second paragraph here in your OP and we wouldn't have jumped on you. But you didn't, then acted like a cocky asshole when we called you out. Don't be such a dick.

It wasn't bad, just slow, especially compared to my '08 335i (N54 FTW). But it was very balanced and not easily upset, and I didn't have anything better than the stock, summer Contis on it. (Both of my 330Cis were '04s.)

I bet his answer is none. I tracked my old 330Ci and 335i Bimmers, but haven't wasted the time and money with my A5 (hey, at least it's loaded and is an S-Line) because it's low on power and tires are fucking expensive. But from what I can tell from street use, an AWD car would be just as fun as an RWD for an…

And what AWD and RWD cars have you tracked, Capt. Obvious?

So well put. No one gives a shit, aside from the few on here who claim it REALLY MATTERS. The same guys also bitch about electric power steering (likely because they read minor gripes in the car mags, not because they could actually tell the difference in real life) and electric emergency brakes (because they like…

Pssst...you can take a performance AWD car, like an S5, to the track, too.

Why, for fuck's sake, should they make something RWD? Seems like they've got a good thing going as-is.

I agree - they sit in a car for a day and then bitch about things they immediately couldn't get used to. It took a couple weeks for me two get fully acclimated to MMI in general, including the "wrong way" knob turning. After that was second nature and now I don't even have look down. I wish I had the simplified…

IT'S A FESTIVUS MIRACLE! (It's still half cut-off for me, though - I only see the top.)

Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhocking.

And, unlike many online and magazines car reviewers, I don't care that the MMI knob turns "the wrong way." It makes sense for the screen graphics and I quickly got used to it.

Which Bimmer do you have? The three-blink feature can be enabled and disabled, so yours is probably turned off.

And you pictured WOOD.