I never knew they called pet owners pet parents in commercials. CREEPY.

Worldstar!

It sure is a controversial member of the breakfast family.

Priests, like most pedophiles, despise adult women. The only reason they enjoy the company of other adult men is because they can take turns on the kid.

Totally. You made my Hanukkah.

Omg, I'm jacking that "Sally Serious". You rock.

Aren't they the football equivalent of the rodeo clown?

Mazel tov. Sobriety can be a bitch but thanks for taking responsibility very seriously.

Yes you are!

There is a reason why the video is only 3 minutes long. It took em five minutes to dream up these luscious lines so by the time the 9th minute hits, they need another hit.

Hey Dina, a day late and a dollar short honey. Sit down and stop boozing, you embarrassing wretch.

Is this it? I don't think this shit is pizza.

"In reality, cops love hassling people who stand out." Well, I'm just gonna stop being myself. I always knew that was really the problem.

It's located on King St. W., which has become home to the (nouveau riche) scum that Toronto's suburbs produce. They're worse than the small-town transplants playing at being hipters on Queen St. or Dundas W.

I wasn't sure what role she was playing at first, considering she lived in the boondocks but after seeing her revive Frances Conroy after the burning, I now know she's part of the "good" witches since Angela Bassett now seems just as crazy Jessica Lange. GO GOOD WITCHES!

"[T]hey wouldn't vote Republican if Idris Elba personally asked them to via midnight front yard serenade."

"[A]void taking on causes that might be seen as controversial or as beneficial only to certain segments of the population" is code for "stop tellin them niggers to go to college!"