But she really did meet Greg Oden

Doing it before the draft is so damned fantastic. It's a virtual dare to all the GM's in the NFL. Rough guess, as the 9th best DE prospect, that'd put him in the 3rd or 4th round or so. He's staring down the NFL and forcing them to take a stance. Can't applaud this enough.

Elton John: Don't worry, Michael, it gets bett-

Jeff Orr's punishment, meanwhile, is to continue being Jeff Orr.

[Looks at picture of hairy, pale, tiny-faced beast]

This bear looks physically unfit to catch and molest all but the most dimwitted of children.

Interesting. I wonder what basketball would look like in New York.

This is the second best "dangerously high off the glass" story of the week.

That's what happens when you play in Timberlands.

Thug.

The Super Bowl, and the Truther Movement.

Michael Crabtree really needs to let this go. Hes a mediocre youtube poster, a mediocre conspiracy theorist and when you put a mediocre conspiracy theorist up against me THE BEST CONSPIRACY THEORIST IN THE LAND! there will be only one winner.

How 3rd world of them! See, in America when a furry old dog that nobody wants anymore wanders onto the field of a major sporting events opening ceremony, they let him do the coin toss.

In hindsight it was probably a bad idea to put the Broncos defense in charge of security.

Here's An Unimportant Photo of Gary Bettman and Jean Simmons

Look how slimy and pink that thing is! And it's right next to Gene Simmons's tongue!

Please just squeeze a little harder Gene, and the world will be a better place.

HI I'M KIRK HERBSTREIT, TOM LEY SUCKS.

I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR A SIGN THAT I'M UNEMPLOYABLE AND IT TURNS OUT I'M HOLDING IT

One thing I'll tell you about this sentence it also had its colon removed.