Well, agree to disagree. For the record, I would (and do) make the kid ask nicely, but if s/he feels so strongly about the blue cup over the red cup, I don't think that "showing the kid who's boss" is a good enough reason to refuse him/her. I'll save that for when it's bedtime and the kid wants to stay up another hour.

What would you consider "bending over backwards" to make sure milk is in the right cup? Because the original author is defining it as "quickly pouring milk into a different cup when the kid says they'd like a different one." Which I don't see as unreasonable, but she argues is a sign that the parent is "scared of her…

The original article says to let a kid throw a tantrum because getting another cup is "making extra work" for the parent. That's pretty ridiculous.

I'm not sure how you managed to take the entirely reasonable advice of "don't cater to your child's every whim" and turned it into "be a strict disciplinarian who sees children as small adults and doesn't allow fun or choice," but congratulations, I guess.

My favorite, when my infant was being fussy, was "I bet he's hungry" or "could he be hungry?"

Fair enough - I suppose I automatically read that difference in relationship between spouses vs kids into that statement and adjusted accordingly (like, letting a kid pick their sippy cup is the kid equivalent of letting the spouse decide where we should go for dinner one night).

Well, OK, to each their own, I guess.

What I got from the article was more the idea of the parents who let their kids tell *them* when bedtime is, or at least that is what I was addressing.

So do you think that daily showers are necessary for good hygiene even if a person has been inside an air-conditioned building all day? Because otherwise I really don't understand why you think you're disagreeing with me.

Well, here's my complaint in that regard: What we know about parenting has changed. There's more research about how the very strict disciplinarian style of parenting isn't really the best approach long-term. My favorite book on this topic is "Nuture Shock." And this is one of the issues that the book tackles - the…

It's good to get kids to explain why they're upset, but sometimes they also need to learn that they don't always get what they want. It's a balance. Not every situation gets to be a negotiation.

When you say "kids today," may I ask what you're basing that on? I'm not arguing that kids can be little shits, but honestly, in my experience most kids have their shitty moments because toddlers are tiny sociopaths. I'm kind of wondering if we aren't collectively forgetting that small children have always been kind…

That's why I said "even though he isn't too dirty for a quick wipedown." People really don't need baths/showers every single day in order to have good hygiene. YMMV but as long as he doesn't actually "need" a bath (that is to say, has gone a couple days without/was outside and got filthy/has been sprayed down with bug…

Sure, and I should clarify - if he doesn't get a bath, he gets a wipedown with a wash cloth. So bath/wipe time is the same, he just has some flexibility in choosing. And he does go to preschool so he's used to a certain structure during the day.

Being kind and considerate isn't the same as being indulgent.

Sure, within reason. Brushing teeth every night to prevent cavities is a good routine that's helping create good habits. Forcing a howling toddler into a tub even though he isn't too dirty for a quick wipedown just for the sake of routine is a power sturggle with no real benefit. Especially when the kid is normally…

Hey, I'm right there with you, but sometimes your kid surprises you with their preferences.

Mine is to look at the reasoning behind the rule. "You need a bath tonight because you played outside and got dirty" - makes sense. "You need a bath because dammit that's part of a bedtime routine and I know you don't want it but it's the PRINCIPLE of the thing! I'm the boss, not you! Because I said so, that's why!" -…

OH GOD you have no idea how happy this makes me. Someone on my FB posted this awhile back and I actually got into a Facebook parenting debate, which I typically have a rule against.

Good to know I'm not the only mom who has random Hot Wheels cars on her at all times.