ARE YOU GONNA BE OK?

That is fucking absolutely savage. I’m actually pretty amazed that they ran this. With that kind of thing, I mean, you must have medical staff waiting in the wings in case there’s a heart attack or something. Someone could die, of disappointment or even humiliation. What are the odds? I mean, imagine going all that…

Your opening line made me wonder why you needed multiple paragraphs to explain how you made $86753.09 working at home with Google.

Seems like just yesterday he was demanding that we build a wall. Get your story straight Stan.

See, this is why Family Video is still a thing.

You could add my gym membership to the end of that list.

It will rise again...just give it like 20 minutes.

Split the difference, adopt the Penix as a mascot:

Six of your Butt-22 are on the Chicago Bulls.

Yep, Fahey has been a bot for years.

Oh come on, nobody believes you’ve got friends.

slide into the three hole

Title of your sex tape.

“By your mid 20s at the latest it’s impossible to imagine being attracted to someone at such a different stage in their lives.”

Thank you for defending the honor of that most beautiful and valiant creature, the “gamer.”

But you get to keep drinking! I raise a glass to you, good sir.

I’m currently taking a month off for fatness reasons. It’s great to feel so goddamn rested all the time but holy shit I am bored.

*that we know of

In hell. He knows what he did.